i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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