Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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