Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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