my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
