her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
