Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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