the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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