just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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