my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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