Whod you bang
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize