Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
