I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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