This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
