that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
