A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize