i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
