I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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