After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
