I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
