The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
