He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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