So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
