why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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