I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
