Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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