I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
