Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
