either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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