I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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