2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i believe in u and ur pee
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
