Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
