im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize