ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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