STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize