She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My first STD was from a foam party
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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