Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
