Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
