im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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