dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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