Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
