the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
