If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
