She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
