Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize