I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
