My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
