So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
