Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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