You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
