i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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