if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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