4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
