Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
