scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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