it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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