Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize