if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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