I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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